I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
