Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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