I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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