My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
