Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
