how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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