i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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