is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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