I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
