Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
