never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Are we still banned from the library?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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