I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
