Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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