youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
