I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
