My room smells like vodka and shame
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
