And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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