It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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