FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
