I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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