now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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