Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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