Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
