Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
