You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
