just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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