at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
