Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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