Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

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  (617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. http://tfl.nu/lewu
  Replies (258) Good night (5270) Bad night (80834)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

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  (248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference http://tfl.nu/k6zm
  Replies (33) Good night (6802) Bad night (1399)
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  (310): View more from California

  hey what are you doing

  (310): View more from California

  hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!

  (310): View more from California

  i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic

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  (310): hey what are you doing (310): hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous! (310): i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic http://tfl.nu/eapf
  Replies (59) Good night (743) Bad night (4884)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there

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  (501): i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there http://tfl.nu/kuz7
  Replies (17) Good night (4940) Bad night (771)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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  (847): his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts http://tfl.nu/kozn
  Replies (11) Good night (4235) Bad night (1194)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in

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  (480): I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in http://tfl.nu/axx9
  Replies (12) Good night (738) Bad night (4554)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal

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  (406): i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal http://tfl.nu/k627
  Replies (36) Good night (5723) Bad night (845)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it

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  (732): yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it http://tfl.nu/reim
  Replies (29) Good night (6866) Bad night (1307)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers

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  (225): She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers http://tfl.nu/m8b0
  Replies (9) Good night (942) Bad night (1979)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.

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  (720): I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time. http://tfl.nu/bucm
  Replies (5) Good night (3550) Bad night (1332)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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  (304): she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference http://tfl.nu/95t7
  Replies (4) Good night (2313) Bad night (679)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"

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  (404): The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class" http://tfl.nu/r5he
  Replies (4) Good night (2335) Bad night (1073)
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  (909): View more from California

  I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.

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  (909): I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic. http://tfl.nu/3gxu
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (1397)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM

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  (+61): A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM http://tfl.nu/lo1g
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."

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  (647): Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club." http://tfl.nu/exip
  Replies (4) Good night (314) Bad night (193)

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