i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you're hired as official boob wrangler