just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?