Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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  (917): i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany http://tfl.nu/9r3u
  Replies (22) Good night (625) Bad night (2548)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.

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  (612): There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps. http://tfl.nu/vyep
  Replies (14) Good night (2700) Bad night (991)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's 1 pm.

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  (203): i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words. (1-203): it's 1 pm. http://tfl.nu/0ewp
  Replies (29) Good night (8638) Bad night (1159)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line

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  (417): I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/6dkx
  Replies (6) Good night (3543) Bad night (1509)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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  (973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm
  Replies (8) Good night (2839) Bad night (1685)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."

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  (201): A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore." http://tfl.nu/zlen
  Replies (22) Good night (3782) Bad night (1853)
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  (408): View more from California

  dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out

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  (408): dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out http://tfl.nu/y59w
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (1378)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.

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  (610): hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level. http://tfl.nu/1yzt
  Replies (1) Good night (948) Bad night (2077)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete

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  (973): They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete http://tfl.nu/wsoe
  Replies (3) Good night (1890) Bad night (454)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.

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  (248): New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together. http://tfl.nu/5v90
  Replies (9) Good night (1928) Bad night (1302)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"

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  (250): His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer" http://tfl.nu/we03
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (593)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (403)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I found Cheetos.

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  (512): Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life. (512): I found Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/4vfh
  Replies (6) Good night (700) Bad night (357)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first

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  (613): I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first http://tfl.nu/99uo
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (375)
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  (516): View more from New York

  This is classic penis vs brain.

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  (516): This is classic penis vs brain. http://tfl.nu/3vjt
  Replies (6) Good night (635) Bad night (301)

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