Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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