That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
