If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize