I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
