I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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