i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
