i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
