Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
