Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My hand turned me down
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she peed on how many people?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
