Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize