Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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