Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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