Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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