Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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