just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
