When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
