I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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