So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
