I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They are going to name an STD after you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize