Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
honey bunches of taint.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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