we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
