just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
