So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
