i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
