wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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