She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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