guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
