no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
