Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
