You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
