Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
