Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
