never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
