Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
